Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Why?? 为什么??

Life is strange isn't it? Just when you think everything is going just fine and all happy, life throws something to completely screw you up. Why me you ask? Maybe there is a reason? Maybe you screwed up and now its your turn to get screwed over. What goes around comes around? Maybe its what you did in a previous life and you are now paying for the wrongs in this life. Maybe you cheated on your partner or treated them like shit in the last life and now you have no right arm.

I guess no one really knows. I always look for reasons. I need the answer to why? I've tried looking through Wikipedia and whilst it has answers to almost everything else, it cannot give the ones I'm looking for now.

Catholics say that God tests you. He throws you tests every and then, keeps you on your toes? I don't despise the lord nor those who worship his words. There are many truths in his words. I just hate the fact that I have to go through this crap and try and find a reason when clearly I cannot find it.

Does everything happen for a reason? Some people say that all things happen for a reason. Sir Isaac Newton said that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. And Hanson said “Mmmm-bop, dip-a-dop. I doo-op.” (I'm sad to say I remember that.) So with all this in mind we set out within the laws of physics to the teeny-bopper beat of a family boyband, in search of the big WHY? Why do things happen.... why when you are struggling to do everything that it can all go wrong.

Why are we alive? I don't and can't claim to know because I simply don't. Or you would all hail me and then God would be a DJ. (..keepin you alive with the jive.) I don't even know if there is a real purpose to life. What I do believe is that the aim in life should be happiness. If you were to draw a graph and plot your happiness level, I think you should at least aim for a median of 75% happiness. Lets call it this“piness-meter.” Or maybe not. Obviously its not possible to be happy all the time. Some things are just plain out of your control you have no choice. But what I can't understand even more is why when someone is happy that they would go and change all of this to make themselves completely unhappy. And they do this knowing that they are making the people around them suffer. It doesn't make sense....not to me....

This is will probably read as one of the most disjointed entries I've written but I have my reasons. The conclusion is that life is a bitch. You can't predict it, you can't control it. Some people think they can, but you only control your actions. You can choose whether to make people happy or to cause them grief. But you can't choose what people do to you...

I don't really have an appropriate song... I mean unless some wrist-slashing Navirna takes to your liking. But not me... I should probably listen to some nice jazz. So whip out your favourite jazz cd and play me a track......


Anonymous zac said...

People sabotage their own happiness simply because it is what they have learned to do from a young age. It is their baggage that causes them to make bad choices. While we can see the harm in their choice, the person has their own inner demons and conflicts that they are trying to appease or resolve.

People are in very precarious positions, making choices that often don't come from their integrity. They are often 'of two minds', or they have fears and agreements that pull them in different directions.

But to be on the receiving end of such negativity is to face not a test but a lesson. We have important lessons to learn, how to protect ourselves from the negativity of others, how to find happiness, and to let go of our own inner conflicts and fears.

10:34 am  
Blogger Jon said...

True, people sabotage their own happiness. Why do something when you know it creates unrest and grief? Why when there is no reason for actions that you go through with them? Who knows?

Like I said, you only have control of your own actions. You can only change what is within your control.

Self-preservation is a balance though. You have to give to receive. So where do you draw the line? Its a damn gamble isn't it. And you are damned if you do and damned if you don't.

So wipe the slate? Or salvage whats left and start the construction again? The Million dollar question....

2:06 pm  
Anonymous zac said...

Yeah,in the end it is up to everyone to make their own choices.

But what do we base our choices on?

Our beliefs, and our feelings.

When our beliefs are false or misleading, and our feelings are troubled, then it is hard to make good choices.

Life should be very simple, but it isn't. We are all carrying years of beliefs, agreements, bad experiences, and the choices from our past.

The best way i have found to gain some clarity is to write about my specific beliefs and feelings in a situation.

This brings me the clarity i need, such that the right choice - what i really want - becomes very clear, and all my internally conflicting feelings can be resolved.

I recommend you try it - write as though you're explaining the situation and your feelings and conflict. Wipe the slate vs rebuild?
(then when you finish, tear up the paper and throw it away)

12:29 pm  
Blogger Jon said...

Beliefs are what guide us through life. Its the experiences and the interactions with the people around us that largly influences us. But at some point there is still a right or wrong. Perhaps at times people are blind to see the truth. But its those times where the truth is obvious but people still choose to go against it.

At the end of the day one can only be responsible for their own actions. This is to say that you can only control what you can control. You are not responsible for the actions other people take. There is no way some can blame you for for their actions.

Self-sacrifice. Doing something when you know it makes you unhappy so you can allow someone else to be happy. A concept that is outrageous and yet acccepted. What is the opportunity cost? And why when all logic can point one way and people can still ignore it?

Humanity has many flaws. Genetic? I don't know. Learnt? Maybe. It sure as hell doesn't make sense.

Words are easy to write...sometimes they are easy to say. But its the actions we take that make the difference. You just need the want and will to push on.


Life is a grindstone. Whether it grinds us down or polishes us up depends on us. -- Thomas L. Holdcroft

1:58 pm  
Anonymous boje said...

I chose to write the editions. as stupid as that was back then, damn it was good therapy. i dont know what inspired this post, and i am no philosopher. starting afresh requires greater effort, and you may end up with something much grander than before, or you may end up with the opposite. rebuilding allows you to use the knowledge you have and apply it directly, and reinforce what you had before. it's a choice, but i have recently learnt that to get ahead, you can't go back. whether that applies, i dont know. but step away, refocus, and it may become clear.

or get some wicked ass drugs.

8:49 pm  
Anonymous lachie said...

And I thought I think about stuff too much. :P

On a different note I bought a unit the other week.

11:05 am  
Blogger Jon said...

you are right. Life is screwed up risk taking affair. But at the end of the day we all finish in the same place. We all die, thats 100% sure.
Finding the energy to start over is an effort in itself, and its always at the time you have the least energy that you need the most. Hopefully what they say is true, "if it doesn't kill you, then it just makes you stronger."
Only thing is that it might just be killing you softly.
I hope none of you have to go through what I'm doing now...

Lachie, you sure as hell put more effort in your travelling blog that I did. Congrats on the flat.

11:38 am  
Anonymous Megan said...

I'm more curious to know what brought about such an out-pouring of philosophical ranting rather than joining the rant, so why Jon, why?!

4:32 pm  
Anonymous lap said...

At the end of the day there may not be a right or wrong answer, choice, fears. Why does there have to be?

Everything can be relative to experience, feelings, understanding and time. All the different variables and dimensions that make up life and the collection of emotions that embody individuals.

Zac makes some very good points about choices and the decision making process.

Jon talks about control of your own actions.

All these can be appropriate in any situation for any persons.

The common theme that resonates through alot of the discussion is "what is the best way to handle a situation" and the pursuit of finding it makes everyone believe from different angles, dimensions and time that there is a sole solution. But why does it have to be. The common outcome has been that everyone wants to be happy and those they care about are also happy. and that is heart.

Simplistically, a person will continue to grow and evolve in everyway, mentally and physically. Decisions in yester years could be different if they were taken with the experiences and the power of hindsight we have today.

You can only do the best you can and being truthful to yourself.

1:36 am  
Blogger Jon said...

thats exactally my point Lap, the truth. Believe in the truth and follow in the truth. But the turth is alway distorted. Who decides what is the truth? So many times the truth is bent and changed by the surrounding conditions.

What is hard to understand is when someone know what the turth is however they still go aginst it. They choose deny the truth... why?

One's sacrifice of happiness to satisfy another... does this equate to anything?...

What happens when the figures just don't add up? Life is about understand situations, and learning from our experience. When there is no reason and no understand thats when its hard to see the next step.

2:58 am  
Anonymous zac said...

Jon, you said that life is about understanding and learning from experience, but maybe you are trying too hard to understand somebody else's experience? Everyone is on their own journey in life, and has their own lessons to learn.

We might be sharing our journey with others, but still learning different lessons from each other.

You could have two people witness an accident, but each person learns something different from it.

So maybe what you need to face is not 'how can someone sacrifice their happiness for another' or 'how can someone choose to deny the truth' but 'what do *I* do when people around me make these kinds of choices?'

In the end, even if you understand someone's dodgy choice (and the mentality behind it)...you probably still won't like it.

Otherwise you might just exhaust yourself trying to get inside someone else's head.

In the meantime, its clear that all your friends care about you a lot, and frineds who haven't posted are also thinkingn of you.

12:02 am  
Anonymous lap said...

well that's pretty much life isn't it?

It's going to throw a few curve balls and if you haven't seen them before you'll learn to deal with them. you'll question why do they come and how do they come?

But you're up for the challenge because it's about living your life the way you want it to be and when things don't turn out the way you expect, time and experience through hindsight will help you understand why things may have happened. Although in my very short life, I don't think I know why alot things happen because sometimes I'm not preview to alot of things but life teaches you these things can happen and when they bob up next time around, you'll be better prepared and less surprised!

In cases where you believe someone is knowlingly going against the truth, well you can't do much about that. You can hypothesise and lay awake at night trying to piece the puzzle together and even then you don't really know. You just can't really can you? You don't have all the available information nor context. Even if it was explained, there's no way knowing that it was explained correctly so you'd understand or that it was explained well in the first place. Or maybe the person is just so far into they don't even know how to handle the situation and have totally stuffed up anyway so are just going through the motions. so many variables.... but if you genuinely know people well, then you would know what their heart is like and maybe that will give you a glimpse of where things maybe coming. Again though no guarantees.

Jon, you're an exceptional individual. I believe you have the will and strength to challenge yourself in this life time to find out what happens on the other side of the bridge even though you don't know what's on the other side.

Everyone should believe in themselves and just have confidence in yourself to be able to step out of that comfort zone and just have a look around the corner.

If it's no good, turn the other way, not what you expected? then try changing the approach? But you challenged and gave it a shot. I know you could live with that and that is being truthful to yourself and no-one else.

12:54 am  
Anonymous Dereko-chan said...

No! That Jazz-Funk garbage will only make you slash your wrists faster! Put down the Dizzy. Step away from the Bootsy. Put on some Rodgers and Hammerstein and treat yourself to a big time out.

Who decides the truth? You do. And you know enough kung fu to smack down whoever says different.

I know you will climb out of this one.

8:22 pm  
Blogger Jon said...

thanks for the posts...
Although I'll never give up the Jazz-Funk garbage. :)

I'll keep riding these waves..

*cue Hawaii Five O theme song.*

1:33 am  

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